Throwback Series: Middle School Poetry

I wrote this stuff over a decade ago in middle school, maybe early high school. Not bad, eh?

Welcome to the Wall

The smile you see upon my face

and the friends and the words and the place

are perfect and happy.

Everyone loves.

Everyone lives.

No one knows.

No one knows that this smile is a pretense.

It crept upon me

and I don’t know how to make it go away.

I’m dying inside.

Not another day,

with those cries and lies

that I know are hidden behind our masks.

There are so many secret conflicts

with ourselves and everyone around us.

The smiles

are pretty;

the lives

are shitty.

Not another moment of these lies,

these troubles in disguise.

Disguise your problems, baby.

Maybe they’ll go away.

Maybe they’ll suffocate in the depths or your mind.

Maybe they’ll drown in the tears of your heart.

Maybe they’ll burn in the fires of your soul.

Maybe they’ll just

disappear.

Because maybe I love you,

and maybe you love me,

and maybe this is all for nothing,

and maybe we’re just a bunch of kids,

and maybe we’re dying to know what love is.

I want to know what love is.

Will you be my love?

And can I be yours?

And

what is this we’re fighting for?

We are

fighting for lies,

fighting for love,

fighting for another chance,

another chance to make our days bright,

another chance to make our lives right.

This will never be right.

We will never be alright.

There’s always something

or someone.

She’s doing this with him;

He said that about her.

What a life.

What a world.

Words are weapons and we wield them without care.

We slit the wrists with knives

as easily as we slit the throats with words.

Take a stab at me, baby.

I dare you.

I’m here waiting for you

with open arms and open eyes,

smile on my face and my heart in its place.

I’d take it all for you.

I’m taking it all for you.

Lay it all on me.

It’s all on me.

My smile is on

so nothing is wrong.

Nothing can be wrong with her.

She’s the sunshiny hippie lover

who dances through life with the flowers in her hair

and love at her side.

Nothing can be wrong with her.

But

something’s wrong with me,

because I want him to love me

and I want him to understand

and I want to be cool with her

and I want my boy to be a man

and I want my friends to love themselves

and I want everyone to know

and I want my tears to come bravely

and I want my lies to show.

You think we don’t know life

or problems.

We’re just a bunch of kids.

But that’s exactly our problem.

We’re just a bunch of kids

and we don’t know what to do about it

anyway.

My Insanity

I start walking; I start running

I look around and feel the pain

I hear the thunder in my head

Though there is not a drop of rain

The fear and anger rises

I feel it bursting from my soul

My thoughts are overwhelming

I begin to lose control

I know near to nothing

I ignore things in my head

The unknown flashes before me

I’d just as soon be dead

I feel everything and nothing

As I begin to go blind

There is nothing left to care for

Nothing left to find

I have to give in now

I can no longer see

It all goes black, and I surrender

To my insanity

Image

This is a very old picture of two of my high school friends hugging at this “wall” I reference in the poem’s title… It was kind of an important place for us, I can’t remember why.

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4 thoughts on “Throwback Series: Middle School Poetry

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